What the URL?

Yesterday, at work while I was clearing and scraping dirty dishes,

I had a thought:

Why is my URL "chezprez"?

For the life of me, I couldn't remember.

There must have been a reason.

There is always a reason.

So I got out my deductive logic thinking cap which looks like it belonged to Spot Conlon and put it on. And then my supervisor said it wasn't part of the uniform and told me to take it off. Probably a good idea. It totally clashed with my apron. 

Okay, so the thinking cap part is a lie. But I think I figured it out. I think I have rediscovered the mysterious origins of the URL of this blog. It's like genealogy except not useful to anybody at all!! Have you ever heard of anything more exciting than something like non-useful genealogy?? I know, right?!

I knew it had something to do with my name. "Ch" after all. But then I thought, "Well, 'chez' looks kind of like cheese." People do think Chessie is Cheesy sometimes. And when they tell me and think they're funny, I say, "Oh ho ho, I never heard that one before. Ever." Like in a sarcastic tone. You know, when you pretend you're serious. But you're not. You're lying. Lying in a truthful way, so that they know you are an honest fibber.

I like cheese though. That's the truth. Actually, I love cheese. If I could eat cheese in big pieces (and I do) all day long, it would be a happy day. You know what I like? I like string cheese. I like the ones that are called Cow Pals. I like buying them in the big packs and eating one (or two) for an after-school snack. Or an after-breakfast snack. Or a before-bedtime snack. Do you guys pull bits off like you're supposed to, or are you hairy, unibrowed cavemen that just bite off the ends?

What was I saying? Oh, that "chez" looks like cheese. Like the Cheez-It crackers except minus an "E." Do you like those crackers? I do. I like the white cheddar ones better than the yellow ones. Have you ever sat down with a box of crackers intending to eat only a handful, and then three episodes of The Office later, you realize that you ate the entire box? Which you bought that day?! Not that I've ever done anything like that. That would be silly and piggy. Anyway, while filling up a Dr. Pepper for some lurpy teenaged boy, I came to the conclusion that "chez" could only be associated with cheese.

So then I came to the puzzling mystery of "prez." Except it really wasn't that puzzling. I mean, please, what else could it be? Even a hairy, unibrowed caveman would know that "prez" could only be short for president. Even if he didn't know that you NEVER bite off string cheese, but you must always peel it, piece by piece. He would know "prez" means president. Obviously, I meant to have a blog that referred to myself as the President of the Cheese Fan Club. Which, if you know me, makes perfect sense. In fact, how could I have ever forgotten? 

Therefore, Groupies,

You can either be called

my "Kraft-y Singles"

or

my "Cow Pals"

or

my "Hairy Unibrowed Cavemen."

But I know all of you are much prettier than that.

So maybe we should just stick to plain ol' "Groupies."

However,

I still demand to be called
 President