Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I saw the new Planet of the Apes movie on Saturday night...

....and I think I reacted all wrong.

I think I'm not supposed to confuse the war-paint streaked, gun-carrying, horse-riding apes in the movie to the sweet chimps and monkeys I see at the zoo and in nature documentaries.

I think I'm not supposed to look into the movie apes' eyes and see real emotions and feel empathy.

I think that I'm not supposed to get moody and upset when they get gunned down by evil humans.

I think I'm not supposed to cover my face with my hands and whimper when there are large explosions.

This is what happened when I explained the aforementioned reaction to a friend:

Friday, November 29, 2013

#TOM #TMI #1

Merry Black Friday to all.

Or should I say Red Friday? Because that would be more truthful.

It all started yesterday, when Aunt Flo came to visit. That heinous b**ch.

Have y'all ever felt the combined effects of tryptophan and menstrual fatigue?

My gosh--it's fatal.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Last night during Counseling Skills...

Teacher: So, for example, if Chessie came in and said, "I haven't been on a date in six months....", what might the schema or automatic negative thought be?

Me: Sounds about right. [grin]

Cue class-wide laughter.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I'm growing my eyebrows out.

Good thing I have bangs to cover up that fact.

Guess what's worse than growing  eyebrows.

If you said bangs, then you are probably a woman.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

"I'm probably never going to blog again,"

is what I told Marie two nights ago. And I sincerely meant it.

But then I was like, "Wait."

I mean, have I told you about the time I was taking a nap on my couch and I woke up to this amazingly handsome man with Prince Eric's looks and Aaron Tveit's hair who Peter Panned himself through my window and made me kiss him? I had no choice in the matter.

I haven't told you?

Oh man. It's a GREAT story.

Or it would've been if I hadn't woken up. :-/

(Once Upon a Time is ruining my life.)

Friday, August 9, 2013

They say "Follow your heart"

when trying to make a tough decision.

Not I.

I say,
"Follow your uterus!" 

and then I buy ALL the kinds of M&Ms I can find.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Going 5 miles below the speed limit is like...

- Leaving the crust of the pizza
- Not drinking the chocolate milk after eating Cocoa Puffs
- Changing the radio station before the song's over
- Eating the ice-cream, but not the cone
- Not trying to hit impossible notes when you're the only one in the car
- Driving in an empty canyon without using your brights
- Dumping a mostly empty water bottle on the ground instead of on someone
- Asking for no cherry on top

It's like, "So much potential wasted!"


Drive. The. Speed. Limit.