Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I saw the new Planet of the Apes movie on Saturday night...


....and I think I reacted all wrong.

I think I'm not supposed to confuse the war-paint streaked, gun-carrying, horse-riding apes in the movie to the sweet chimps and monkeys I see at the zoo and in nature documentaries.

I think I'm not supposed to look into the movie apes' eyes and see real emotions and feel empathy.

I think that I'm not supposed to get moody and upset when they get gunned down by evil humans.

I think I'm not supposed to cover my face with my hands and whimper when there are large explosions.

This is what happened when I explained the aforementioned reaction to a friend:


Friday, November 29, 2013

#TOM #TMI #1

Merry Black Friday to all.

Or should I say Red Friday? Because that would be more truthful.

It all started yesterday, when Aunt Flo came to visit. That heinous b**ch.

Have y'all ever felt the combined effects of tryptophan and menstrual fatigue?

My gosh--it's fatal.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Last night during Counseling Skills...

Teacher: So, for example, if Chessie came in and said, "I haven't been on a date in six months....", what might the schema or automatic negative thought be?

Me: Sounds about right. [grin]

Cue class-wide laughter.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I'm growing my eyebrows out.

Good thing I have bangs to cover up that fact.

Guess what's worse than growing  eyebrows.

If you said bangs, then you are probably a woman.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

"I'm probably never going to blog again,"

is what I told Marie two nights ago. And I sincerely meant it.

But then I was like, "Wait."

I mean, have I told you about the time I was taking a nap on my couch and I woke up to this amazingly handsome man with Prince Eric's looks and Aaron Tveit's hair who Peter Panned himself through my window and made me kiss him? I had no choice in the matter.

I haven't told you?

Oh man. It's a GREAT story.



Or it would've been if I hadn't woken up. :-/


(Once Upon a Time is ruining my life.)

Friday, August 9, 2013

They say "Follow your heart"

when trying to make a tough decision.

Not I.

I say,
"Follow your uterus!" 

and then I buy ALL the kinds of M&Ms I can find.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Going 5 miles below the speed limit is like...

- Leaving the crust of the pizza
- Not drinking the chocolate milk after eating Cocoa Puffs
- Changing the radio station before the song's over
- Eating the ice-cream, but not the cone
- Not trying to hit impossible notes when you're the only one in the car
- Driving in an empty canyon without using your brights
- Dumping a mostly empty water bottle on the ground instead of on someone
- Asking for no cherry on top

It's like, "So much potential wasted!"

Like, "WHY ARE YOU SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST AND THEN THROWING IT ALL AWAY?"

Drive. The. Speed. Limit.