I really am a nice person,

but sometimes, after days like today, or weeks like this one, I just wanna say....nay, SHOUT,

"You. Shut up. You're pathetic and desperate."

"Hey kids. I hate you. And cotton candy."

"You. are. so. annoying. 

There's a reason you're alone. It's your whining."

"Um. You're not funny."

"Get a ROOM!" (I really did yell that one at my creepy roommate and her creepier boyfriend. And not in a joking way. They are the grossest.)

...and glare at everyone in my way....

But I would feel bad. So I don't say these things. But I think them.

OH. I THINK them.

Hitler High Fives

Marie, my roommates, and I all dressed up went to a fun Halloween masquerade dance party thing on Saturday. They had some goofy band playing for a bit and they sang some goofy song about Yahtzee.

Except it was so loud and confusing that it almost sounded like they were singing the word "Nazi" over and over again, so Kassidy and I were holding our hands up and out in front of us while pretend-moshing and Logan was a ditz and kept high-fiving us and crazy-dancing, and not understanding why we were laughing so hard because she kept doing it even though we kept yelling, "NO...Nazi!"

And Marie brought her lights and camera and we all pretended to be models.

Awkward.

So I'm $175 poorer...

but remember how months ago I was like, "Guys...I'm going to grad school..."

Well, it's getting closer....and more expensive...

Taking the GRE on November 15 and turning in my applications right after.

Word.

Because I can. And because you know it's true.

Conference weekend just happened, and as a result, a whole new batch of sayings popped up that will soon reveal themselves in the form of printables, vinyl lettering, and painted wooden blocks.

This is Utah.

Land of the saccharine and trite Mormon cliches. Not that I have anything against them. I don't mind them. I hate the tacky decorating. Plus, I feel like my own sayings are a lot more realistic and relevant.

For example...

Live. Laugh. Love. Lame-asses.

Tomorrow is another day

(to totally screw up).

Search, ponder, and pray (for a MAN).

Familes are Forever. 

(But that doesn't mean you need to stick around.)

Return with Honor (and Flakiness).

Daughter of God.

Booty Call of the Douchebag.

I Hope They Call Me on a Mission.

I Can't Seem to Find a Date.

An old roommate had the verse from Joshua "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" hanging in our bathroom above the toilet. It always made me feel so uncomfortable. It should've said, 

"As for me and my house,

we will buy the quilted, double-ply TP.

And wash our own effin' dishes."

Thank goodness she moved out and took her dumb signs and filthy dishes with her.