Splish Splash...

I had an adventure on Friday night. Well, I suppose you could call it Saturday morning. It all depends on your way of thinking. Fall break was this week...a nice lovely, three-day weekend. I love breaks. I just can't function without them. I was talking to Mikey online and I mentioned my break (that I love) and he was like, "Break? What?!?!" He goes to BYU. And now you know why I love my school. We have breaks. Which I love. With all my heart. We may go to school a week earlier and get out a week later, but it is SO worth it to have several three-day weekends and Spring Break. I love Spring Break.

Anyway, a couple days ago, I ran into a friend on campus that I hadn't hung out with in a while. I asked him what he was doing for the break--he said he didn't know, but he would call me if he did anything fun. I kind of forgot about it for the rest of the day. Friday night, I was completely alone. Three of my roommates had gone home, one was at her grandma's, and the other was holed up in the junior interior design studio, about to pull her third all-nighter in a row. You sure you want to do interior design, Mike? It's a beast!! I was very lonely and bored and it was midnight and I was about to go to bed when I got a call.

Ryan: Hey Chess! Want to go fishing?

Me: (Checks the time--12:05 am.) Right now??

Ryan: Yeah, right now!

Me: (Thinks for a split of a split-second.) Yeah! Just let me change!

Ryan: We'll be there in a couple minutes. Wear something warm!

Me: (tearing off her PJs to put normal clothes on.)

So it was my friends, Ryan and Craig, and another girl and guy that I hadn't met before, and me, and we all crammed into Craig's little Honda Accord and headed down to the little spot by the river where we all got out to fish. We'll call it my first time fishing because the first time I went was in the sixth grade where everyone abandoned me and I managed to tie myself up with fishing line. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I'm exaggerating a little. But not much. This time wasn't too bad. I didn't actually fish. I baited Ryan's hook with the worm, but there weren't enough fishing poles, so i just watched.

Craig: Man, this would be so sweet if we had a boat. We could go all over the place!

Ryan and Phil: Dude, I know! If only we had a boat!

Ryan and Phil: Crap! I got snagged. Let's go somewhere else.

Craig, Ryan, Phil: Dude, if only we had a boat.

Me: I get it. You want a boat. But let's go somewhere else.

(Everyone packs up the car. The boys see something glimmering on the bank nearby. They go to explore.)

Craig, Ryan, Phil: DUDE!!! NO FRICKIN' WAY!!!

Me: (Runs over excitedly.) What?!?

Ashley: What did you find??

Craig, Ryan, Phil: (Gesturing wildly.) WE FOUND A BOAT!!

Me: (Sees an overturned rowboat. Jaw drops.) Shut up! That's so cool!!

(Everyone piles back into the car and tears back to Ryan and Craig's apartment, where they grab rags to stuff the small round hole in the end of the boat, and old wooded crutches to use as paddles, and climb into Craig's truck, which will be used to haul the boat back to the apartment. Craig, Phil, and Ashley in the cab, Chessie and Ryan in the back.)

Everyone: (Gazes lovingly at the boat.) Wow!

(Boat is plugged, pushed into the water, and all five people climb in, Craig and Phil manning the crutches.)

Ashley: (Manning the camera.) Click. Flash. Click. Flash. Click. Flash.

Ryan and Me: (Singing loudly.) Row, row, row your boat...Gently down the stream!!!! Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily....LIFE IS BUT A DREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMMMM!!!

Me: You know you're gonna name it after me, right?

Craig: Yeah, I'll name it the Chessie.

(The crutches dig into the ground, prodding the boat to the bank, where we all get out, turn the boat over, and load it into the truck-bed. Five people sit in the cab. Actually, four people sit on the seat. Chessie sits on Ryan.)

Me, Ryan, Craig, Phil, and Ashley: (Every five minutes.) I canNOT beLIEVE we found a BOAT!!!

(Everyone runs into Craig and Ryan's apartment to jump on their sleeping roommate, Clay.)

Ryan and Craig: Dude, wake up! You gotta come see this!!!

Clay: (Rubs eyes sleepily.) Wha-at?

Ryan: Dude, it's like Christmas out there!!

Me and Ashley: (Laughing hysterically.)

(Everyone runs outside again. Clay's mouth is agape at the sight of the boat in Craig's truck.)

Clay: What the crap is that?!?!

Ryan, Craig, and Phil: We found a BOAT!!

Clay: That is so white trash. That is the coolest thing I have ever SEEN!

(High-fives all around. Everyone goes home. Chessie goes to sleep at four in the morning and wakes up with a horrible cold. But the runny nose, clogged sinuses, and cough are SO totally WORTH IT!!!)

Yup.

True story.

Nessie Nessie Bo Bessie....

Notice my nice new background? It's the closest I could get to some Scottish tartan. I'm going to Scotland. Did you know that? Kelli and I have been planning this bloody trip since Sigafus's eighth grade German class. Although I don't expect to ever live in a castle with a trampoline room and a sno-cone machine (I've grown up a little since then), I am darn well going to visit one....minus the trampoline room and the sno-cone machine. And have a fling with a Scottish hottie. And see Nessie. And try haggis. I'm scared but I'll do it just to say I have. It can't be worse than octopus and shark...right?? What is in haggis anyway? I'll have to look it up. I'm so excited to be a dorky tourist. I can't believe we're actually going. My goal is to meet an Alec Kincaid. Or an Ian. I have no idea who these people are. They're just cool names.

I went to Chili's with Kelli the other night. Yum. It's the second time I've ever gone. And after dinner I bought shoes for five dollars. They kill. But they are SO cute!

A box elder bug got in my hair today. I felt it hit my head with a little plop! I spazzed...again...and was clawing at my head trying to get it out and in the process I flung it against the wall...the bug...not my head. Just in case you were wondering. My head is intact. The bug, sadly--NOT!!--is not. I looked behind me to see it splattered against the wall. Talk about ewwww.... Why me? Why is it always me?

I played racquetball with a friend last night. I haven't played since 10th grade P.E. I can't even remember the P.E. teacher's name. He was bald. Gosh, what is his name?!?! I can remember who was in my class though. I played racquetball with Olivia, Angela, and Cathy. I remember us singing Josh Groban and Hilary Duff at the top of our lungs in the echoey-echoey court. Really classy. Hah.

Blurble...

I'm a bargain shopper. I love good deals on clothes, shoes, marshmallow popcorn, scotch tape, gum. The cheaper, the better. I feel compelled to buy anything that's under 5 bucks. Even if I don't like the thing that much. It's like something invisible grabs my fingers and I'm dragged over to the clearance racks against my will. Except it's not against my will. And then all of the little bargains call out to me...."Buy me!"...."I'm cheap!"...."You know you're going to buy me even though you're a dirt-poor college student with no money!"... I even got my iPod for free. Rebates are great. Everyone should take advantage of rebates.

Speaking of my iPod. It makes me hear things. Literally. Not just the music. I always have the earbuds in when I walk to work. I swear that whenever I have 'em in my ears, I always think that there is someone walking right behind me, crunching the leaves under his feet. I get so creeped out by the sound that I jump and turn around, but there's no one there. Then I realize that I am only hearing my own feet, but when my earphones are in, the sounds seem like they're behind me. It's like my feet are little ventriloquists throwing their sounds around to scare me. It's so awful! And then thinking about ventriloquists makes me think about ventriloquist dummies, which make me think about the Goosebumps book about the evil ventriloquist dummy that comes to life and haunts people. So sick. It gave me nightmares when I was little.

Other things that scare me are box elder bugs. I hate them. I hate them so much. I shudder when I see them and they invade the building where I have all my classes. It's sooooo disgusting. I was doing a Sudoku puzzle in the computer lab by the window during a break between classes and I fell asleep. I woke up to this eerie tickle on my neck, only to find a box elder bug crawling across my face. I jerked straight up, squeaked like I was on helium, dropped all my papers and books, threw my pen across the room, and flailed around trying to get it off me. I'm sure I looked charming.

I dozed off on my hand during Medieval Lit today. All of a sudden, I heard my teacher's voice, "Uh-oh, Chessie!" I woke up to find a stack of papers on my desk that I was supposed to pass on. Everyone around me laughed, which was embarrassing. But that doesn't compare to the humiliation of having my teacher catching me in the middle of an illegal nap. Gah!

Just once in my life, I would like a day where I don't do or say something stupid. A day where I don't trip. Or spill on myself. Or sneeze really ugly. Or breathe wrong so I cough so hard I'm practically convulsing. Or get the hiccups everytime I brush my teeth. Not pretty. Toothpaste everywhere.

I'm pathetic.