I graduated high school.
I was a choir nerd and A Cappella always sang at commencement.
I remember us singing
Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.
I remember bawling my eyes out
because I was afraid
of what the next four years of college
was going to bring.
Crying and singing at the same time
doesn't really work, you know.
Also, when you are on the very front row
because you are so stinkin' short,
everybody and their grandma can see
your total emotional breakdown.
A dear friend stood on the front row right next to me,
and as tears silently ran down my face,
he reached over and took my hand,
holding it tightly in his.
I remember thinking,
"This is the first boy who has ever held my hand,
and he's gay."
I cried harder because I was sure that was an omen.
Fortunately, I have matured a bit since I was eighteen,
and my college dating life has been only slightly better
than the nightmare I imagined.
I only had to wait until the fourth year of college
to be asked on my first date.
Because boring blind dates to help your more attractive roomies don't count.
I'm sure you agree.
Haha!
:-)
10 comments:
Aww...Chess, don't worry about it! I still have never been asked out, and also, I am just as emotional as you ;) (plus, it seems like most of my guy crushes are gay, so that tells you something, too :P)
Blind dates are the worst. But the dating scene kinda disappeared lately. It is not as formal as it used to be. Most of the time, you are never sure when or if you are on a date.
I laughed so hard at your "omen"! Too funny.
I was in choir my entire school career, but at graduation they decided that only the people in ensemble would sing. Could you imagine how furious I was when I saw seniors not in ensemble get up to sing? I wanted to jump from my seat on stage (we sat facing the audience, still as statues).
I'm glad high school is over.
Also, @Rick I agree that the dating scene is disappearing. I was recently told that I'd have to start going to bars if I wanted to date. Not really my thing.
Chess, I'm still a choir nerd! AHAHAHA!! And I think we're almost the same age. =|
Four years? I thought you were dating a guy for a few months. Do you remember that quote from my quote wall? "I really need to get uglier friends." -Suzanne.
Perhaps you should consider doing the same. ;)
I was a choir nerd as well lol, was in every possible group all through high school but sadly I haven't sung in an ensemble since leaving :(
dw, you know that things can only get better from here on in :)
(at least you didn't fall in love with a guy who is now engaged... yes I am feeling a bit bitter apologies!)
Somehow your posts always make me want to laugh and hug you at the same time!
You will get that great (straight) man of yours; I promise. Until then, enjoy! Live it up! Marriage and relationships are work, sometimes hard work. I'm sure you know this, but it's icky Chess!
sigh. i love all of your posts.
this totally brought me back to my high school graduation too. fellow choir nerd here and I held hands with my gay best friend during the song cause I was a mess!!! haha our lives are so paralleled.
isnt it amazing to look back at how much change and growth has happened? I feel like a totally different person than high school me.
(and ps - Mr Chester will make all the horrible blind dates worth it. mmhmm take that whatever way you want)
Don't worry. Gay guy friends are sometimes nicer to have than girlfriends! I don't really have any right now. I don't think the hubs would care for that.
This was a great post, I could picture it all in my head, you sweet thing! Perfect combo of tugging on my heart strings and making me smile.
I can't believe what I'm hearing about your dating history. I've never met you in person but to me, you have the most attractive personality and the sweetest smile that I think would draw cool guys toward you like bumble bees to a blossom! Hang in there, babe. I wasn't married till age 24. Soooo worth the wait.
P.S. this year marks my TEN year reunion!! Holy crap I'm getting old!
i cant believe we've been graduated for 4 years!! and when you guys sang that song it was amazing. i remember it like it was yesterday. it was probably the only good part about that ceremony. totally joking, i just remember being bored.
life is much better post- high school :)
Chessie, I think that you and I probably have similar social struggles. We both have great personalities, are smart, and a lot of fun to be around, but all that is accompanied by some underlying shyness which makes us self conscious, at least around people we don't know well. I can really open up and be myself around people I know well and am comfortable around, but a room full of new people is really intimidating for me. I think that if everyone could see our real personalities, we would both have more success. This is my estimation at least, I could be wrong, but I'd like to think I know you reasonably well.
I'm still looking for the trick to being myself all the time, so if anyone has discovered what it is, let me know!
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