Bad, Bad Me...

I'm not supposed to be on here.

Shhhh....

I have to turn in a draft of a paper today. It's a paper for my Shakespeare class. It's due at 1:30. Guess how much I've written? 

If you said zero, you guessed correctly!

Oops.

Can you blame me? First of all, my class stinks. Second, gLee premiered last night, and I'm sorry, King Lear had to make way for Finn and Mr. Schuester. We had a gLee party, and Abbs and I dressed up as Rachel and Tina, and we. looked. AWESOME. (Pics to come later--when I don't have a paper due in three hours.) Third, I just finished reading the play this morning at 7:40. And then I fell asleep until 9:20. 

Bad, bad me.

But I just had to thank you all for the kind encouragement and emails sent to me this weekend! My church lesson went wonderfully and I didn't have to picture anybody naked! I'm so glad. (Naked people are scary.) In fact, I wasn't nervous at all! If I ever get a calling as Relief Society teacher, I can hold my head up high and accept with confidence. Sunday School is a whole 'nother story. Haha.

So now I must run and scribble three pages or so of nonsense in the next two and a half hours. I will come back with a proper post soon! 

Love you Groupies!

Chess

PS. Thanks to Brittany of Rhapsodizing Moments for the lovely shout-out this morning. We've never met, even though we go to the same school and are both English majors (she's a tech writer and will therefore make money in her lifetime), but she's a loyal commenter and an even better blogger. I love reading her blog because I can relate to the funny things she talks about.... like embarrassing boys at the grocery store. Read that post {here}. I like it cos I'll know it's only one of three stores that she could possibly be talking about. You know? It's the whole small world kinda thing.... so go check it out!

The 100th Groupie!!!!

Meet Kayce.

One of my favorite ladies in the world!

(Click on the image to read her blog.)

Isn't she just adorable?

(I stole this pic from her FB.)

She was one of the first people outside my tiny circle of friends who even read this blog. (So how come it's taken her this long to join? Haha.) Kayce and I met in a 7:30 a.m. nutrition class. Why did we take this class? We had to. That is all. I found out she was a fellow English Ed. major and from then on, we were inseparable at school. Until, of course, I switched to Literary Studies, and we haven't had any more classes together. I'm still heartbroken.

To this day (a year and a half later), she won't let me forget how I fell asleep all the time in nutrition, and how my professor mistakenly called me a "model student" in our poetry class. She STILL thinks it's hilarious because she knows full well I was never, ever prepared. Last spring, I found out she read my blog when she nearly broadcast to our entire political science class that I had a crush on the blue-eyed basketball player who sat in the desk behind and to the right of me. (Blogs are not safe, people. Hah.)

Turns out basketball boy didn't like talking very much, so I decided to make friends with the motorcycle-riding punk from our poetry class who sat right next to me. When I started dating Mr. Motorcycle Man at the beginning of last semester, Kayce was the first one I told, cos I knew she'd get a good laugh (before she and I knew him, we'd make so much fun of him, because Professor C. basically told him to shut up because he commented so much). She approved. Until the day he decided my roomie was more attractive than I was. She is awesome like that. :-)

Last fall, I got her in trouble for the first time in a class. I was whispering to her and made her laugh and Professor H. called us both out. (Sorry, Kayce. But you knew I wasn't a "model student.") We have gone to Poe in the Dark, and we went with a bunch of classmates to go see New Moon. Five English majors going to see the terrible film adaption of possibly the worst writing in the universe. Best night of my life! We're already planning a get-together to see Eclipse.

You're judging us. You stop it right now!

We went shopping for maternity clothes yesterday. No. She's the one who's pregnant! And she's so cute! She's having a baby girl. Soooo excited for her!

I even planned out an entire conversation for my semi-ish date last night based on that. 

This is how I wanted it to go:

Boy: "So what'd you do today?"

Me: "Went shopping for maternity clothes."

Boy: "......"

Me: "Oh! I didn't tell you....."

Boy: "......"

Me: ".....that my friend is pregnant?"

It didn't go exactly like that, but it was still funny.

So thanks, Kayce, the Magical 100th!

You are too cool

and I miss you.

English just isn't the same without you.

And by that, I mean it's almost a nightmare.

P.S. I think it's hilarious that whenever your BIL wants to be set up, 

you think of me and say, "No. She can do better!" 

That's a true friend!

Also, I'm giving you a nickname:

Preggie Pop Drop 

:-)

Gulp...

I'm nervous, groupies.

Normally, I don't get nervous.

But I'm scared and a little wary.

A lot for tonight (I dunno what'll happen),

A little for tomorrow morning (I have to teach in church).

Still nervous.

Could you come out of the shadows

and give me a little cyber-encouragement?

Thanks!

:-)

PS. There are 99 of you! I can't believe it. The magical 100 is only ________ [insert measurement of time] away! That deserves a celebration. I shall ponder upon it!

Dear Seagulls...

that are flying over the Quad.

Pleeeeease don't poop on my head! 

If you must poop on somebody's head (as I suspect you must), find those three silly frat boys that crashed into me on the sidewalk the other day, and poop on THEM!

Thank you.

Love,

Chess

Add This To Your Vocab...

So I came up with a new phrase...

I'll let you get a pen so you can write it down.

It is THAT good.

(Kidding.)

The next time you are puffing away at the gym and someone calls/texts you, asking what you are doing, this is what you need to answer with:

I am sweating myself beautiful!

Isn't that much better than saying you are going to the gym? Or worse, working out? Because who wants to work? Totally lame. And saying that you're getting in shape is kinda weird too. Frankly, what shape are you talking about? Circular, rectangular... isosceles triangle? Rhombus? Forget the shapes! Instead, you are just becoming a better outward match to the beautiful person you are on the inside!!

So, people of the gym and people who want to go to the gym (but can't seem to do it, because it just sounds awful):

Q: What are you doing after class today?

A: I'm going to sweat myself beautiful!

Q: You look great!

A: Why thank you! I've been sweating myself beautiful!

Q: Want to come over and scarf down a pint of burnt almond fudge ice-cream?

A: Absolutely! Because I just spent two hours sweating myself beautiful!

Say it with me one more time!

I'm sweating myself beautiful!!!

(Now go do it!)

:-)

Know What?

I came to a conclusion today...

Life kinda weirds me out a little sometimes.

Does it ever do that to you?

For instance...

What the honk is the matter with the weather here?

Snow?

A foot of snow?!!

In April?

Also.

Life is just weird.

And it weirds me out.

It kinda makes me just want to eat.

And I just went to the gym.

So that would be bad.

But I saw the former Mullet-Man

wearing blindingly bright purple sweats.

They went beautifully with his bright red hair. 

Ahhh...

I just love people. 

I really do.

Are You For Reals?!

Remember Mullet-Man?!

At the gym?

Guess what?

He cut. it. off!

I knooooow!!!