I saw the new Planet of the Apes movie on Saturday night...

....and I think I reacted all wrong.

I think I'm not supposed to confuse the war-paint streaked, gun-carrying, horse-riding apes in the movie to the sweet chimps and monkeys I see at the zoo and in nature documentaries.

I think I'm not supposed to look into the movie apes' eyes and see real emotions and feel empathy.

I think that I'm not supposed to get moody and upset when they get gunned down by evil humans.

I think I'm not supposed to cover my face with my hands and whimper when there are large explosions.

This is what happened when I explained the aforementioned reaction to a friend:

Facebook Friday: Boring Movies and Barack the Belieber.

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See "last year's Chigurh success" below"

Sidenote: Last year's homemade birthday card.

I mean, come on.

Who wouldn't want to be my friend?

Mis queridos muchachos.

Dear S., 
I used to really like working with you. Now, you are the worst.

Love,
the better closer

My man, Jim,
Glad we could pace each other during that race. Keep running!

Love,
I-could've-beat-you-to-the-finish-line-were-it-not-for-my-stupid-shoelace

Dear Ryan-at-IHOP,
Yes, the first few days of serving are the worst, but you were lucky to have me for a customer. Don't be so scared. Most people are very understanding. :-)

A fellow server

Dear Brentacle,
On the unlikely day I win at Words with Friends, well, you owe me something awesome. Like glory. Not Yu-gi-oh glory. The real kind. Like twenty bucks.

Speedy Snarks

Dear YSB,
You kinda made it seem like something might happen, but nothing has, and I keep hearing things that are making me sad. I'm done.

G'bye,
YSG

Dear Noble and Lancelot,
So excited to rip Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 to shreds with you guys. It's been too long since we destroyed Eclipse.

Twilightfully yours,
Chess

Dear Bank Boy,
You still be cute. I know you gots a girl on a mish, but we should hang out. Maybe you could come to my birthday party?

Appreciative Customer

Rango, gypsies, and a race.

Remember that one photoshoot I did last summer?

Well, I did another one with those fun people. Except this time we dressed up as gypsies. But I don't have a picture of that yet. Still waiting.

Watched Rango with my new buddy Lara. So weird and funny. So was Rango. (Jk, Lara, jk.)

Then I ran a race on Saturday. Read about it HERE.

But here is a preview of the race:

Games and Midnight Hunger

First of all, I just wanted to say that one of my roommates is just terrible with boys. I don't think she reads this, but if she does, I apologize. But seriously, just awful. It's so awful, it's awkward. So awkward, it's funny. And I feel awful saying that, but groupies, if you thought I was rainbows and sunshine and niceness all the time, well, I hope that lately I have been educating you on the fact that I. am. not. But I am not mean. I'm observational.

Then again, I'm only awesome with boys to the point of being really good friends. I can't get them to date me. So what do I know? (I think I am too smart, too nice, and too Asian to date. And I'm serious about those reasons. Boys around here like dumb girls, who are kind of legitimately mean, with long blonde hair.)

Second of all, I can't stop munching on Shredded Wheat and thinking about what snacks I want to sneak into the theater tonight. Because I don't know about you, but I'm getting my Hunger Games on tonight. I just read the trilogy a few weeks ago (you know, my aversion to reading), and I'm very excited. Plus, it's been a long time since I went to a midnight movie and those are just so fun.

So tell me,

What's your favorite snack to sneak into the theater?

You know that part in Tangled where Flynn Rider goes, "Guys, I want a castle"?

Well, just imagine that tone of voice, when I say,

"Groupies, I'm going to grad school."

Things that made me laugh this Christmas...

This conversation:

Context: I stuffed mini-stockings for my friends' Christmas presents. Each one had a plastic party favor medal that said "Winner!" on it.

"You gave us each one! We can't all be winners!"

"If only this said 'Chessie's friend' on it--I would never take it off."

"I'd tattoo 'Chessie's friend' on my chest."

"I will die wearing this."

These text messages (from a boy):

"Merry Christmas! I hope you got the Polly Pocket you asked for."

"You left a flower ring here, by the way. I'd give it back, but I can't stop wearing it."

These movie quotes:

"Please bless this highly nutritious microwaveable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen."

"Buzz! Your girlfriend! Woof."

"When what's left of you gets around to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting whatever you've got left."

"When I've figured what that means, I'll come up with a crushing reply."

How was your Christmas??!!

Things I am better at doing than Mulan is:

(Compiled while running yesterday morning. Also known as a list of things that I'm mostly proud of, but probably shouldn't be.)

1. Spitting
2. Burping (Did she try to burp in the movie? I don't care. I'm still better.)
3. Talking to boys
4. Being on time
5. Hating insects and reptiles (I am way better at this.)
6. Slightly more graceful
7. Waking up early

Things I need to improve at, because Mulan is better than I am:

1. Climbing tall tree trunks
2. Hand-to-hand combat
3. Riding horses
4. Shooting cannons and archery
5. Fighting huge men
6. Making friends with insects and reptiles, or if I can't do that, learning to throw shoes with deadly force and accuracy, so as to destroy unbefriendable insects and reptiles
7. Eating with chopsticks

Things Mulan and I are both good at:

1. Being Asian
2. Singing to ourselves
3. Spilling hot liquids
4. Sleeping in
5. Having brains and speaking our minds
6. Breaking and burning things
7. Endearing grouchy old men to us

Conclusion: Why don't I have my own movie?

This is what Cho would look like if....

She got knocked up and joined the Dark Side with Luna. (I'm mixing up my movies, aren't I?)

Well, all allegories of good and evil always lead back to Star Wars (original only--the others don't exist).

Photo taken by Melanie Parry. It be hers.

Crafts and Cooking.

Well, earlier this week I played with Mod Podge, cardboard, and magazines.

Last night I played with lard, flour, and molasses. And later today, I will play with pumpkin cake and cream cheese, because tonight, we're having a Harry Potter Dessert Party. (More on that later).

So let's just see what I've made this week (all pics taken with Photo Booth so excuse the quality):

CapriSun box, cardboard, recipes and pictures cut from magazines, 

and an oatmeal container...

And I've got a place to put extra long utensils and to put all my letter-writing supplies!

Here is a treacle tartlet for Harry Potter night.

(Yes. It's on a Chinese plate, on my purple bed. Whatcha gonna do 'bout it?)

You can find the recipe HERE at Bakingdom. I ate one. It's delish.

PS. Project Pen Pal is a great success folks! I got lots of requests for letters, and it's been wonderful. It's kind of amazing therapy. :) I'm sorry if it's a bit slow. I write a letter every other day or so, so as not to get burned out, but it's also really important to me to write something personal and with a lot of thought. I will get to everybody, I promise. So if anybody new wants to join the fun, shoot me your street address in an email, and you will get a letter from me! 

PPS. What do you think of my new header? I was bored, haha. I enjoy it, but I will admit, it's way stupid. :)

Cheese Lover

Cheesy things I love:

found via Google image search

• Painting my nails -- latest love is Shatter or Crackle nail polish (see pic for example)
• Glee
• Glee 3D Concert movie
• DCOMs (Disney Channel Original Movies) -- latest love is Lemonade Mouth
• Lemonade Mouth soundtrack
• Disney movies
• Chick flicks
• 80s movies -- latest loves are Girls Just Wanna Fun and Can't Buy Me Love
• Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo

Yep. No shame here!

Things you should know...

In case you didn't know them already. I don't think you do, which is why I'm telling you:

• I watched the last fifteen minutes of a really stupid movie called Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus the other night. I'm still embarrassed about it.
• I made a birthday cake and candle out of construction paper and I'm going to record myself singing a birthday song for somebody. I'm embarrassed in advance. More on that later. 
• I just woke up from a two hour nap. What am I, a teenager?
• I am avoiding packing up my stuff to go home. 
• There are a lot of clothes I just need to get rid of. 
• I wore leopard print high heels to church yesterday.
• I finished watching the last episode of Arrested Development on Saturday night. My friend and I rewatched the entire series this summer. Which means we stretched it out a lot, considering I watched the entire series last summer in less than two weeks. 
• My ringtone is now "It's Not Easy Bein' White." If you know, you understand. I will not explain myself on this one.  
• I have a black graduation cap and gown (for short people) that I would be happy to sell at a discounted price. Interested? Email me.
• You have the rest of today and tomorrow to enter my GIVEAWAYYYYYY! Do it, you have a pretty good chance of winning something, as not a huge number of people have entered. :)

So Audrey Hepburn was WRONG.

At least in Wait Until Dark she was.

Even if you think you know your house well enough to navigate it in the dark, 

you probably don't.

If, in the future, for whatever reason, I happen to intercept a creepy doll that is the smuggling container for highly illegal drugs, and the drug lord comes to claim it as his own, and it's the dead of night, and I have to run away with all the lights off, I probably won't get away. Because I will overshoot the doorway that's on my left, and run straight into the doorjamb, and hit my head, and fall against the kitchen counter.

At least, that's what happens when I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I don't see how it could be any different if a drug lord came to claim a creepy doll with drugs sewed into her stomach.

That being said, go vote for me at Blogger Idol!!!! 

Aiming for the Top Four!

(Voting begins right now and goes for 36 hours until midnight on Thursday CST)

Or you can enter my giveaway HERE.

If Antonio Banderas were a color, I'd dream in him.

Alas, you cannot find him at the antiques mall in the Ravenna, Ohio.

But you can find a life-size Zorro!!!
(Sadly, I am not Lindsay Lohan, and he is not Tyra Banks,
so I can't bring him to life.)

Click play. Seriously.

My Ideal Date...

Is not April 25th.

Because it's not nearly hot enough. 

And it's way, way too cold.

I need way more than a light jacket, 

which I found out too late this morning. 

And I'm still cold. 

Ten Best-er Bucks to whomever correctly guesses the movie reference first.

Some Mo' Gifts...

I bought my cap and gown. Weeeeeeeeirrrrd.

Winning my FIRST prize ever in my life in a raffle at the country swing dancing closing social! I would've gotten Tangled, but it had already been claimed. Boo. I got Casino Royale instead. Never seen it.

Wings with and new music from Jake.

Watching TV for the first time in months (with Jake, Matt, and Seth).

I have been doing Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred for the past three weeks. Between that and watching what I eat, I've lost five pounds. Heehee.

I cleaned my room!!

Katy came up to spend the weekend. She is one of my bestest friends in the world. She and Cort came with me and we went to go get pizza with Kate and Andrew. And then we watched Modern Family. Such a great show.

I get to live with Kate for free this summer. Kate is my "most involved follower who is not actually a follower" (Kate 04/15/2011). She checks my blog every day instead of doing her homework. What is more flattering than having a stalker who will be your roommate?

Hiiiiii Kate!!

Everybody say hi to Kate!!

Cowboys vs. Princesses...

If my friend is reading this, I'm sorry. But I will beat this into the ground in all of the social networking forums with which I am affiliated.

The day we went to go get wings, the boys were talking about the new True Grit movie. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen the original either. I don't necessarily care to. I told them I don't pay money to go see movies in the theater.  They said, "Chess, it's at the dollar theater."

I said, "I know. I went to go see Tangled."

I never saw such looks of disgust on faces that are supposed to adore me.

"You could've seen a movie about cowboys, but instead you chose to watch a movie about a princess? You--You're such a GIRL!!"

Yes. Yes I am. 

How did we miss this very important point during our friendship? I may watch movies of death when I hang out with you and thoroughly enjoy them, but I am fully allowed to watch princess movies whenever and wherever I want.

And do you know what a girl who is accused of being a 'GIRL' does?

She goes home and watches Sleeping Beauty the next day.

:)

My First Love...

My friend Leslie wrote about her first love/kiss today. So I took a leaf out of her book--or is it a post out of her blog--and decided to do the same.

I am most positively certain that my first love was this man:

Gilbert Blythe, just in case you bumpkins missed the memo. Except I must clarify that I fell for Book!Gilbert Blythe long before I saw the movies. It's because of him that I absolutely must marry a boy who is book-nerdy, and mischievous, who laughs a lot and doesn't like run-of-the-mill girls, because I fancy myself not one of them. Smile.

Speaking of which, yesterday and today, I rewatched both of the Anne of Green Gables movies (not the third, I don't like it), and I am now rereading the entire series. Don't worry, I have already wept copious tears during my enjoyment of both medias.

Sigh. It's so lovely to read because I want to.

Useless Project #1

I took a film class over the summer. It was awesome. My professor made some crack about John Cusack and a boombox, and I had no idea what he was talking about. Turns out it was about the movie Say Anything, which I had never seen. I was Wiki-ing it the other night, and I decided it was high time I watched it. At the same time, there was a list of pop culture instances where they reference the boombox scene. It led me to this music video. I am now fixated on it.

Now I'm spending hours listening to the band. I really like the guy's voice. It's kinda great. But I am fixated on the video, because now I have made it this week's goal to watch all the 80's movies that I possibly can.

So far, I've watched Say Anything and Sixteen Candles. Next up, The Breakfast Club and Some Kind of Wonderful.

Not just that, there's something else in this week's useless project. See, if one of your goals is to do more service, we can kill two birds with one stone. You help me and cross something off your list, and, at the same time, you help me cross something off mine!! How can you lose? How can I lose? How can we lose? We can't, that's what. We have now have a relationship that is built to last. Bahaha!

So here's what I need help with. I need help figuring out all the different movie allusions in the music video. Here are the ones I know:

0:50 -- Sixteen Candles
1:42 -- Brokeback Mountain
2:07 -- Titanic
2:30 -- I think it's Pretty Woman
2:57 -- Napoleon Dynamite
3:06 -- Say Anything

So what have I missed? Let me know!!

Today's Facebook Status:

If you ask me if I was there at midnight,

I will have to be rudely honest and say, 

"Now that is a STUPID question."

PS. I loved it.