Hitler High Fives

Marie, my roommates, and I all dressed up went to a fun Halloween masquerade dance party thing on Saturday. They had some goofy band playing for a bit and they sang some goofy song about Yahtzee.

Except it was so loud and confusing that it almost sounded like they were singing the word "Nazi" over and over again, so Kassidy and I were holding our hands up and out in front of us while pretend-moshing and Logan was a ditz and kept high-fiving us and crazy-dancing, and not understanding why we were laughing so hard because she kept doing it even though we kept yelling, "NO...Nazi!"

And Marie brought her lights and camera and we all pretended to be models.

Awkward.

Leprechaun Lope

Guyyyyyysssss,

I'm running a 10k a week from Saturday. It's called the Leprechaun Lope.

What awesome green things should I wear?

TrendyXchange GIVEAWAY!!!!!!

So guess what??!!

I have another giveaway--of a prize that is ready to go. I want to explain to the winners of the last giveaway that they can blame THIS GIRL for not having their prizes yet. I have gotten after her time and again, but she is just so busy busy. I haven't even gotten my cool t-shirt yet. Trust me, I haven't forgotten about you.

Anyway, about this giveaway. A few weeks after I moved back home, I was meeting my friends for a birthday dinner in Provo at a pizza place I had never been to previously.

I got there early, so I  decided I would kill time and browse "that cute clothing store over there." When I got inside, unfortunately, the store was not open for selling, they were only buying clothes to build up their inventory. I talked to the manager and owner, Kalie, who explained the concept of the store to me--they buy your new or gently used brand name clothing (women's and men's) and give you 30-40% of their selling price, with the options of cash on the spot or in-store credit.

Even though I was bummed I couldn't buy yet, I was blown away by the adorable, welcoming design, the bright colors, and the nice clothes--they have a great selection of new items along with the used.

But then I got a brilliant idea, mostly because I was very poor. I said coyly, "So, your grand opening's not for a month...are you hiring?" One week later, I was behind the counter. And I love it. So even though I work there, my opinion of this store is completely honest and mine. It's a great concept, a wonderful store, and the staff is fantastic. We try our best.

So this week, Kalie has generously contributed a $25 Gift Card for one of you to use at the store!!! Hers is the first and (currently) only location, so the winner should live somewhere between Spanish Fork and Point of the Mountain! (Or at least be a frequent visitor.) Word, Utah County-ers, this one's for you!

All you have to do is "like" trendyXchange's Facebook page and tell them that Chester the Best-er sent you! Come back here and leave me a comment telling me you did so. This is required.

You have the chance for three extra entries for a total of four entries and you MUST leave a separate comment for each:

• Become a follower of this blog or subscribe by email (see handy widgets at top right)
• "Like" Chester the Best-er on Facebook (or see handy widget at top right)
• Link to this blog post on Facebook so your friends (male or female) can enter too. 

Contest is open to those in Utah County or those who visit often! Spread it like wildfire! You can enter until 11:59 pm on Sunday, November 20, 2011. Winner will be announced Monday morning! 

Say hello to my new friends!!

(and my shaved legs)

I'm going on a special running adventure today!

I'm gonna try something I haven't done since high school. 

And then when I'm finished, I'll tell you all about it! 

It's 11:46 PM...

And my pageviews counter says 29999 views.

Holy moley!! I'm amazed, thrilled and so grateful. I'll be even more grateful when that last person clicks and it says 30,000.

I'll be so thankful that I'll go out and run for 45 minutes tomorrow morning!

(I was planning on doing that anyway, especially since I have brand new running shoes--on sale-!-and will have shaved my legs. Did you know that it's lots easier to run when you know your legs are nice and smooth? I haven't proved this scientifically, but my heart tells me that it's so.)

What has your heart told you lately?

Breaking News!!

I am no longer pre-employed, guys!!! I have a dorky little retail job in a clothing exchange store in the next town over, and I forgot to ask how much I'm earning or if I get a discount (because I haven't had to apply for a job in years), but I took it anyway. It's a cute shop and I basically just walked in there and the owner gave it to me.

It'll pay the cell phone bill and the credit card payment and maybe a little extra, so that's all that matters at the moment, since I'm babysitting part-time anyway. But maybe I'll go back to the restaurant. Who knows?

I'm just happy to finally have something to do. I start my training on Wednesday morning. Yay me!!

I'm No Fashionista, But....

This is never okay.

My feelings tell me this is so.

Kind of how your feelings tell you that it's not okay to accept a burger with a pink center 

(unless you specifically asked for it).

Maybe she never grew up with these feelings. 

I mustn't judge.

But I can't help it.

     :)         

More Gifts...

Yesterday's first gift:

Somebody text me. Right now. Get me out of this house.

Buzzzzz. Buzzzzz. Ding.

"Wanna come get chicken wings with us? They are cheap and delicious." Such friends. Always looking out for my welfare and my taste buds.

Thanks Jake, Alex, and Matt. You introduced me to the wonderful world of wings. I never ate them before. I'm sorry I made you wait because I was eating the last of my measly ten buffalo wings seven minutes after you each downed "Ten buffalo, five fiery."

Second gift of the day:

I couldn't find matching red ones. Sue me.

Hey Stranger Audience Man at BYU Recital...

That fashion combo will NEVER be okay for you to wear.

Only Mario Batali can pull that off.

Rip It...

I had to climb a fence last night. The ONE pair of jeans that I took home decided they wanted to retire that very second.

They caught. And well... I ripped 'em... ripped 'em REAL GOOD.

So You're Probably Thinking I'm Dead...

Well, I'm not.

I'm back to provide you with ample opportunities to 

waste. your. time.

Isn't that awesome??!!

Where else will someone offer to do that for you?

And so cheerfully too!

You're welcome, Time-Wasters.

Hey guess what?

I have a job!

It's messy and sweaty, and sometimes people are rude.

My feet hurt, my legs hurt, and my back hurts a bit too.

But.....beggars can't be choosers.

Plus also, the pay is not too shabby.

Especially for a silly, all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant.

So I will suck it up.

However.

This brings me to the first ever edition of

Chester the Best-er's Bargain or Bust!!

Push PLAY. Seriously.

(and confetti)

Yesterday, I had to get some white, collared shirts for my work uniform. I'm thinking, "Blast, I don't have any money yet, how am I supposed to buy two shirts that look nice enough, without stabbing my wallet in the heart with a dagger?" Now I suppose you are thinking, "Hey doofy, you could always go to the thrift store and buy one." I'm all for secondhand in most cases, but here's why I say no to that bargain: If they're men's, then they're huge, and if they're women's, they seem too fancy-ish, and in both cases, they always seem to have questionable stains. 

But then I had a brilliant idea!! I remembered once that I bought a t-shirt at some touristy spot in this country, but I hadn't wanted to pay the adult price, so I bought the biggest one in the kids' sizes. Fit like a dream. (You know, the good kind of dream. Like where you're flying. Not the crappy, scary dreams. Or the ones where your teeth fall out.) So I said to myself, "Self. Why on earth would that NOT work in this situation?"

So I took myself to the store, headed over to the Little Boys' section, and bought TWO white, collared shirts in the extra-large size.

Grand Total: $17.10

Less than what I would've paid for ONE new women's shirt.

I know, right?!!

Niiiiice.

And yes. They fit perfectly.

Disclaimer: This tip is really only useful for people who are about 5'3" or shorter, and between a size 6 and 4. Because if you're taller, then the shirt will be too short, and if you're above a size 6-ish, then you'll probably have to buy regular sizes at regular prices. Also, you should be a girl. Sorry taller people and/or boys, I can't help you. Learn to shrink and turn female, and then maybe we can talk. Haha.

Hair Gods Have Mercy...

You know how I was at the gym yesterday for two hours?

Well, two hours gives you a lot of people-watching time. 

Let me tell you about the fellow I was watching while puffing away on the elliptical machine...

The top of his hair looked like this:

The bottom of his hair looked like this:

He was wearing one of these:

But he was holding it in his teeth...

So the back looked like this:

And the front looked like this:

I KNOOOOW!!!

Now picture that running on treadmill.

Picture that mullet/mohawk bouncing with every step.

Can you imagine anything more horrifying than that?

I didn't think so.

So I guess his hair was business in the front, party in the back....except...I suppose his hair was a party on top as well.... and naked on the sides....a naked business party? And how would you describe his shirt?

A reverse mullet-inspired shirt?

Party in the front and business in the back?

His hair and his shirt were having identity crises!!!

What am I supposed to think of a person like that?

Does he treat business like a party?

Or is partying his business?

Do you see how this is CONFUSING???!!!

(Not to mention OOOOO-glay.)

Dear Handsome Man at the Fireside...

Yes, you.

I unashamedly admit that I was staring at you longingly the whole time Elder Robert D. Hales was recounting the Joseph Smith story. I also admit that you may have caught me staring. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. It could be because you have lovely dark hair and dark eyes. It could be your chiseled bone structure. Very likely your wonderful smile, aimed at ______ (not me), was the factor that kept me from paying attention.

However, those reasons--alluring as they are--they pale in comparison to the enrapturing power of the amazing forest-green ARGYLE SWEATER VEST you were wearing. I know we're not supposed to look on the outward appearance, but on the heart. But you! I know that sweater only reflects the heart within. 

Do you know what your sweater revealed to me about you?

I just know that you love hot chocolate and cheese (not together) as much as I do. You have strong forearms connected to beautiful hands with magical fingers that could heal any pain of mine by tickling my back. You know the joy of car dancing and you secretly love Disney music. That amazing forest-green ARGYLE SWEATER VEST let me know you want to be like Atticus Finch when you grow up. You know the secret to giving the perfect hug and you only want to give that perfect hug to me. (Kind of like the hidden kiss in Peter Pan.)

Your sweater let me know that 

I'm supposed to marry you one day.

Just please... 

Wear it when you find me. 

I look forward to your immediate and subsequent proposal.

:)

Couch Scandal....

Sunday night, while watching the Olympics, I found myself having trouble breathing. I felt stifled and air just didn't seem to be reaching my lungs, due to heavy pressure on my ribcage.

Why, you ask?

A little too much sugar lovin'.

(Don't be getting any dirty ideas.)

Abbs, Cort, and I had baked and decorated a bazillion sugar cookies, and we ate about 3/4 of a bazillion. In addition to the two helpings of delicious lasagna that we made for dinner. So you can see why my bra suddenly transformed into a straitjacket.

(Sorry, male readers--if there are any. Maybe you want to skip the rest of this story. Or not. Be my guest.) 

Obviously, the oppression was not to be tolerated, so in the midst of the pairs figure skating short program, I gasped out,

"Sorry, girls, it's coming off!"

(Abbie cheered me on.)

I unhooked the offending article of clothing and discreetly tucked it beneath a couch pillow. I begged them not to let me forget to take it back to my room, but then Abbs and I envisioned Ash's fiance accidentally finding it. Which resulted in shrieking, hysterical laughter, and a great desire to leave it hidden between the couch cushions. Abbie figured it would be good for him to get used to it, because we highly doubted that they would be able to make it through their wedding night, they are so innocent and pure.

(She and I have the dirty minds in this apartment.)

Which led to me commenting that Abbie wouldn't have a problem getting through hers.

Which led to a conversation on a choreographed wedding night.

Which led to a Shakira music video.

Which somehow led to the SNL Beyonce and Justin Timberlake "Single Ladies" skit.

So I leave you with these words:

"Pure"

(pronounced p-YORE)

and

"dance biscuits"

Yep.

PS. I did not leave my bra in the couch. As much as I wanted to.

She's the Man....

One of my favorite, favorite movies.

There's a line that Viola's friend Paul says.

I woke up this morning and repeated it,

"Inside every girl, there's a boy."

Then I added enthusiastically,

"And today I'm going to dress like one!"

And I did.

(Mostly because I ran out of clean clothes.)

Yes, Indeedy...

After much creepy staring on my part while standing in line at the restroom in LAX Airport, I finally recognized Angela Kinsey (Angela on The Office) when I was in California the other week.

I'm positive and a half that it was her. She had her little girl up on her shoulders and looked pointedly away when I was staring at her curiously, trying to figure out if it was her. I wasn't about to go up and ask her, and I wasn't able to whip out my camera and take a picture, so you'll have to do with this one. 

It was her! I promise!!

P.S. I looooooove that dress! 

I love everything about it: the color, the cut, everything! 

I want it. 

I will make it if I have to.

Brrrr...

There was a blizzard today. And it just wouldn't stop. I had to take one of the kids I was babysitting to a doctor's appointment and then pick the other kids up from school. A distance of 20 blocks. A drive back and forth would take about 20-30 minutes. I did it twice. Should've taken only about 45 minutes. Hah!!! It took..................TWO WHOLE STINKIN' HOURS!!! Where is the justice in this world? Two hours in a messy, sticky minivan!!! I almost cried. Not to mention....they made me listen to Radio Disney the whole time. Which happens to be an AM radio station. It. Was. Torture.

Buying jeans is torture too. It's a battle that just cannot be won by me. A size 6 in the regular length will fit me perfectly, but a size 6 in the short length won't. I don't know what to do. I just want a pair of jeans that fits. It would be a dream come true. I would believe in Santa, the Toothfairy, Peter Pan, and even the Boogeyman if somehow I could find a pair that fit my waist, my butt, and my short little legs. Yup, it would definitely be a miracle!

Complaining aside, there's lots to be grateful for. A nice, warm minivan with a working radio. Working windshield wipers. A defroster. Nice roads even though they were caked with snow. Warm coats and gloves and socks and shoes and sweaters. Hot chocolate. Blankets.

There's a quote above the door at my boss's house:

"Having somewhere to go is home. Having someone to love is family. Having both is a blessing."

Well, I've got them both. So I've got blessings. Can't really complain now, can I? I've been able to go to many places for various reasons and needs. I've got my apartment with my beloved roommates in Logan. That's home. I've got my house in Orem. That's home too. Sometimes, I need to get away from those, so sometimes school is home. This is so nerdy, but the Orem Public Library is home sometimes too. One time it was too noisy at my apartment to do homework so I found silent refuge at the Brick House #1. That was home for the evening. One time I was really upset and needed to run away, and Brooklane #8 took me in. That was home for a few hours.

And I have so many people I love. SO many. I love my family, as difficult as it may be sometimes. I love my extended family, as weird as they may be sometimes. I love my roommates and their families. I love my ward. I love the bishopric of my ward. I love every single individual person in my FHE family (even the ones who refuse to come). I love my home ward. I love my neighbors. I love the important teachers that I've had. I love the strangers I see who are good to each other. I love the cute older brothers I see taking care of their younger siblings. I love the sweet older sisters who do the same. I love the people who shovel the snow on each other's sidewalks. I love the kids that I mentor at the middle school. I love the other mentors I work with. Even though it's hard, I even love those kids who stole my Barbies when I was eight and living in Venezuela. I've finally forgiven them. Haha. I love my friends, the ones that have been with me since I was little, and the ones that I've made up here at college. I love the Prophet. I love the Apostles. I love Jesus. I love God. My gosh, I've got a great family!!

So who cares if it took what felt like half my life to go twenty blocks? I had a lot of time to think about everything that I love. That can't be a a waste of time at all! :)

Sweet Sweats....

I was in the campus bookstore with my good friend Katy, when this incredibly good-looking guy comes up and asks us for advice on buying a pair of sweatpants for his sister-in-law. Katy and I both have the sweats so we know how amazingly comfortable they are. Really. They are fantastic! Anyway, so we go around the rack with him, looking at all the different colors, and he asks us what we think of everything: the lettering, the tie at the waist, the colors.

We asked, "Does she like brown?"

He said, "I dunno."

"Well, what do you think of this?"

"I dunno."

I asked him what size she was and he said she was a small, so then I asked him how tall she was, and he looked at me and said she was about my height, so I told him to definitely get a small (even though I have medium--they didn't have smalls when I bought them). So he takes the hanger off the rack, and holds them up to me against my waist. Then he looks me up and down for several seconds and goes "Hmmmm...." Hahahaha! But they were so long they were folded on the ground past my feet. So he holds them up to himself and says, "Look at them! I could wear them!" Katy and I reassured him that they would be fine, and that they were amazing, and everybody should buy a pair. So he smiled and told us to consider them bought, thanked us, and left for the cashier.

Katy and I (in mouthed whispers): "He was SO cute!"

Good day. Despite the fact that I had only had two hours of sleep the night before because I had been writing a paper for most of it. But I got a two-hour nap that afternoon. So lovely. And then I went with Katy and her roommates to the Institute Choir concert. So much like high school cheesiness, except about five times worse. There was just too much random weird dancing in it. I laughed much more than was polite. But before you think it was all bad, it really wasn't. There were some really good songs here and there.

Then I went and played games. I actually tore myself away and went home early. I was so so tired.

And now I am in the library. Wishing I didn't have to write a 5-page paper. Or do a grammar test. Or an online discussion. Or another 8-page paper. Or study for three finals.

*Sigh* Help.

P.S. My roommate Megan is an aunt for the first time. It's so exciting!! I wish I were an aunt. But not really, that would mean scandal for my family. My siblings are way too young for that. That's for sure! No, I guess things are they way they should be!

Carrying the Banner...

No, I'm not waving a flag around. That what a color guard is for. My friend Spratt and I were newsies for Halloween. We went to the Howl. The biggest Halloween party in three states. Or so I hear. Also, it's the skankiest. And the sweatiest. And the smelliest. But I learned the Thriller dance. It was thrilling. I had so much fun though. I can't understand Spratt though. He went as a newsie, but he has never seen Newsies. He says he made a solemn vow never to watch the movie until he is married. It's so that if a girl wants to watch it with him, she'll "have" to marry him. I dunno....but methinks the logic is screwed here.

Aren't I amazing? And aren't we amazing? No worries, I know it's an awful picture. My roomie took it at a terrible angle.



My vest was amazing. It cost me 3 bucks at the D.I. I already had the hat.

I hate to toot my own horn, but I am SO fun! Haha...

Nessie Nessie Bo Bessie....

Notice my nice new background? It's the closest I could get to some Scottish tartan. I'm going to Scotland. Did you know that? Kelli and I have been planning this bloody trip since Sigafus's eighth grade German class. Although I don't expect to ever live in a castle with a trampoline room and a sno-cone machine (I've grown up a little since then), I am darn well going to visit one....minus the trampoline room and the sno-cone machine. And have a fling with a Scottish hottie. And see Nessie. And try haggis. I'm scared but I'll do it just to say I have. It can't be worse than octopus and shark...right?? What is in haggis anyway? I'll have to look it up. I'm so excited to be a dorky tourist. I can't believe we're actually going. My goal is to meet an Alec Kincaid. Or an Ian. I have no idea who these people are. They're just cool names.

I went to Chili's with Kelli the other night. Yum. It's the second time I've ever gone. And after dinner I bought shoes for five dollars. They kill. But they are SO cute!

A box elder bug got in my hair today. I felt it hit my head with a little plop! I spazzed...again...and was clawing at my head trying to get it out and in the process I flung it against the wall...the bug...not my head. Just in case you were wondering. My head is intact. The bug, sadly--NOT!!--is not. I looked behind me to see it splattered against the wall. Talk about ewwww.... Why me? Why is it always me?

I played racquetball with a friend last night. I haven't played since 10th grade P.E. I can't even remember the P.E. teacher's name. He was bald. Gosh, what is his name?!?! I can remember who was in my class though. I played racquetball with Olivia, Angela, and Cathy. I remember us singing Josh Groban and Hilary Duff at the top of our lungs in the echoey-echoey court. Really classy. Hah.