My Needs...

I keep noticing that people are doing the Google "[your name] needs" thing. Since I am not your typical Brittany or Jennifer... please refer to the following when trying to make me happy.

Chessie...

1. Needs donations to cure her mange
2. Needs an immediate home
3. Needs to be kept busy with obedience exercises so she will know her place in the family heirarchy and know who is "boss"
4. Needs to experience many GOOD experiences
5. Needs to keep busy with walks, jogging, and especially swimming
6. Needs to meet other pugs, since other breeds obviously don't meet up to the high pug standard of socialization
7. Needs structure, consistency, and firmness, but not heavy-handedness during training
8. Needs the occasional bath to prevent any tendency to smell like "wet doggy," but she should be bathed as rarely as possible to keep her fur's naturally oily texture, as this helps protect her and keep her waterproof
9. Needs a job
10. Needs to have a forever home where her human will scratch her right ear for her since she cannot do it for herself
11. Needs a house with a fenced yard, and a strong, consistent owner

*chokes on numbers 3, 6, 8, and 10*

Oh my gosh, my name belongs to a dog!!!

More specifically, a Chesapeake Bay Retriever:

What am I going to do?