I Can't Stop...

Smiling.

I've tried.

It's impossible.

I need to be back in Logan!

And the Winner is....

JEANINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

(And after that solo, it's no wonder! She deserved it!)

Congratulations!

It's a Small RM World...

Once upon a time, I lived in Jones Hall up at Utah State University. It was a crummy little dorm, but I have so many happy memories there. My little apartment had home teachers. They were our neighbors from upstairs. One was named Taylor and the other was named Kennedy. This particular story is about the Ever-Smiling Kennedy. 

All of Jones Hall had a delightful freshman year, and then we all went home for the summer, knowing that all the guys were going on missions.

This is how I remember Kennedy:

And this:

Over the next two years, I basically forgot all about the people I met freshman year. After my junior year (this year), I went home again for another summer, and got back in touch with all my old friends from high school that were all back from their missions! I think this is the best way to put it--my guy friends all have this ridiculous and frightening man-crush on their best friend, Ricky. 

They call him "Ricky the Tank," and are more admiring of his physique and talents than any group upwards of one (and there are like five) should be. Not only that, they try all the time to get me to agree with them. I refuse to. I barely remember him from junior high orchestra. So I will NOT participate in their pathetic, drooling, idol-worshiping drivel. 

I keep telling them that their worship of Ricky is really off-putting and the true reason that they don't have girlfriends, but they don't listen to me, and tell me I'm just jealous because I'm not as cool as Ricky. And they wonder that they have a hard time with girls. 

(I cannot wait to go back to school. Less than two weeks left!!)

Despite this, I did agree to tag along when they all drove up to the airport to meet Ricky coming home from his mission. This is how you know that I TRULY did not have anything to do that day. So Ricky came back, and the Four-or-Five-way Bromance was complete. I was hanging back, trying to avoid everyone, and looking around when I saw a black cowboy hat on another returned Elder. I looked at his face, and my jaw dropped.

It was KENNEDY!! I inched over, "Do you remember me?" and reintroduced myself, and he was like, "I was your home teacher!" And I was like, "I know!!" Then he shook my hand, like the good missionary he is, and apologized for being awkward, because "I haven't been around women in a long time." Which was so funny, because he was one of the biggest flirts I've ever seen in my life. One of his family members or friends, I think it was like a cousin or sister, she told me not to sweat it, because he wouldn't even hug her. HAHA. 

So then he asked, "Who are you here for?" I waved over at my group because I forgot Ricky's last name, and he said, "Elder Johnson?" 

I said, "Yes!" 

He said, "MTC companion!" 

I said, "High school!" 

He said, "No way!" 

I said, "I know!!" Anyway, I got a picture with him, because, really, what are the odds? He told me he was going to be back up at USU for the fall semester, so I gave him my number and told him to call and come hang out with me and the girls. 

Man, I love when stuff like this happens!

It's so surreal and great! 

Evil Eye Update...

The swelling has gone down, folks!!

It's slightly puffy, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm cured!!!!!!

There was a tiny little red bump left behind, which makes me think some diabolical little bug in my office bedroom decided to come out of hiding and wreak his malice upon me.

Oh well.

Please don't be afraid anymore to look me in the face. I am back to normal!

Be Afraid...

Be very afraid...

...When this is what you wake up to:

!!!!!!!

(P.S. I think something may have bit my eye.)

Yes, Indeedy...

After much creepy staring on my part while standing in line at the restroom in LAX Airport, I finally recognized Angela Kinsey (Angela on The Office) when I was in California the other week.

I'm positive and a half that it was her. She had her little girl up on her shoulders and looked pointedly away when I was staring at her curiously, trying to figure out if it was her. I wasn't about to go up and ask her, and I wasn't able to whip out my camera and take a picture, so you'll have to do with this one. 

It was her! I promise!!

P.S. I looooooove that dress! 

I love everything about it: the color, the cut, everything! 

I want it. 

I will make it if I have to.

Keep It To Yourself...

Disclaimer: This is not an attack on married people. This is an attack on how they clutter up my Facebook feed.

I must rant.

About married people. Married people who have Facebook. Specifically, women who are married and also have Facebook.

Ahem.

Dear married women who have FB: 

Your statuses suck! When you want to write them, just don't and say you did. 

I realize you are still in the throes of bliss and wide-eyed optimism, but really. Your clogging up of my FB feed is clogging up my airways and making me want to vomit. 

All I see these days are:

• "[insert name] misses her hubby soooooooo much!! <3 <3" 
  
• "[insert name] is sooooooo lonely at home without her husband and wants him to come home RIGHT NOW!!!!"
• "[insert name] has the best husband in the whole wide world and is so happy she gets him forevah and EVAH!!!"
• "[insert name] is making her hubby his favorite dinner and can't wait until he comes home from work! I looooovveeeee you sweetie!  ♥ ♥ ♥"

And when you're pregnant? (Sweet merciful heavens!):

• "[insert name] Only 37 weeks left!!"
• "[insert name] is inducing labor in TEN DAYS!!!"
• "[insert name] 10 hours and only dilated [insert number] cm!!" 
• "[insert name] wants lots and lots of drugs :) :) "

I'm begging you.

Just please....

Stop!!

Sincerely,

Chess