Keep It To Yourself...

Disclaimer: This is not an attack on married people. This is an attack on how they clutter up my Facebook feed.

I must rant.

About married people. Married people who have Facebook. Specifically, women who are married and also have Facebook.

Ahem.

Dear married women who have FB: 

Your statuses suck! When you want to write them, just don't and say you did. 

I realize you are still in the throes of bliss and wide-eyed optimism, but really. Your clogging up of my FB feed is clogging up my airways and making me want to vomit. 

All I see these days are:

• "[insert name] misses her hubby soooooooo much!! <3 <3" 
  
• "[insert name] is sooooooo lonely at home without her husband and wants him to come home RIGHT NOW!!!!"
• "[insert name] has the best husband in the whole wide world and is so happy she gets him forevah and EVAH!!!"
• "[insert name] is making her hubby his favorite dinner and can't wait until he comes home from work! I looooovveeeee you sweetie!  ♥ ♥ ♥"

And when you're pregnant? (Sweet merciful heavens!):

• "[insert name] Only 37 weeks left!!"
• "[insert name] is inducing labor in TEN DAYS!!!"
• "[insert name] 10 hours and only dilated [insert number] cm!!" 
• "[insert name] wants lots and lots of drugs :) :) "

I'm begging you.

Just please....

Stop!!

Sincerely,

Chess