Owwww....

I fell off the bus today. All the way off.

It was raining this morning at 7:00. In case you don't know...when it rains, the ground gets a bit slick. Especially the floor of the bus. You know the little grooves they put in so as to create traction in times of rain and snow? USELESS!!! Completely POINTLESS!! They don't work!! At all! It's a lie!

There were about fifteen people on the bus and I was the first one to get off. Or should I say fall? The road by the stop where I get off is very steeply sloped on the sides. Most vehicles looked tipped over when they pull close to the curb. This bus was no exception and I knew it. So I was extra careful--trying to step slowly and steadily. No such luck. My foot slipped off the first step and I landed on my butt, only to slide off to land on the second step, only to bounce off that one to land on the last step, my feet hitting the ground.

I was stunned. I couldn't even laugh at myself. Nobody offered to help me up or ask me if I was okay. So I just got up....hung my head....and walked away. The sounds of laughter followed me. I'm not even kidding. Lots of laughter.

Bad things happen to me on the bus.

Always.

Freshman year, the driver couldn't see me in the mirror (I'm short) and so as soon as I stepped on, he closed the doors on me. Literally. I was pinned. I screamed. He yelled. The door was opened. Apologies were made. Lots of laughter.

Freshman and Junior years.....slipped trying to get ON the bus...fell and slid all the way off....I don't know what's more humiliating, bouncing on your butt from step to step or sliding backwards on your stomach while managing to look the driver straight in the eye....and he's laughing.....

Ma-mazing!!

Just what the title says. I'm a ma, and I'm amazing. :) Did I ever mention that I was an FHE mom? Well, I am and it's the best calling in the world. I love it. I love, love, love, love, love it! When I got called into Bro. Jensen's office a month and a half ago, I was very nervous. I was hoping for a calling where I could actually make a difference, but not have it stress me out as far as Mars and Jupiter. You know? I'm sitting there, my ears straining, and I hear "...Family Home Evening Mom..." I choked, stared at him, and then.....I started to laugh. Really hard. Poor counselor. He didn't know what to do. I said, "Are you serious?" and Bro. Jenson nodded gravely, "Yes, very." But he was smiling. He knew I was a quirky weirdo last year too. He shouldn't've been surprised.

I was sure surprised... and worried. My roommate, Erica, was our mom last year and she was basically a single mom: she did all the planning, the shopping, all of the spiritual thoughts and activities. Our dad didn't help out at all. Erica is going into interior design and her program is so rigorous and demanding that she hardly had any time to eat, let alone plan weekly activities. So the rest of us roommates usually took over. I told Bro. Jensen that I was worried, and he told me that he would allow me to pick my husband. Since I am gullible, I believed him. Later that night at ward prayer, Bro. Jensen admitted that he fibbed to me. Now I was really nervous...who the heck was I paired up with? Would he ditch me to do the job on my own? Long story short....I think I got the best husband out of all of them. Kenny was on the ball from the very start: delegating, taking charge, and helping me figure things out. All my previous worries were totally obliterated. I felt like I could do it. Plus he's hilarious. Can't get much better. Thanks honey! You're the best!

I've got the best family. There are about thirty assigned to Kenny and me, and we usually have anywhere from 15-20 show up every time. That is a fantastic turnout. They are all so funny and nice, and I adore them all. Except there are some punks that never show up, even though they tell me they will when I invite them each week. I never thought it was a big deal when I wasn't in charge, but now that I'm on the other side, it honestly hurts my feelings. But when people make the effort to come to the activities and take the time out of their busy days, well, it just makes me so happy. Those of you in singles' or student wards, support your FHE groups, it means the world to your Mas and Pas, and it just really promotes the unity within the ward. And when your ward is wonderful, the gospel is just that much sweeter. I know it is!

I love it when they call out, "Hi Mom!" Makes me laugh. My kids are great. Which is funny since they are all my age or older. I just love it. I love my husband, I love my kids, I love the fam. It's the best. I just have to gush because we just had a really good FHE tonight. I made a goof of myself as usual, but they seem to be okay with it. Just as long as Kenny doesn't get engaged over Christmas break...people tend to do that...I've never even asked if he's dating anyone...I don't want him to get married...it would suck to have to get a new partner...it'll be a good year. Haha. :D

Carrying the Banner...

No, I'm not waving a flag around. That what a color guard is for. My friend Spratt and I were newsies for Halloween. We went to the Howl. The biggest Halloween party in three states. Or so I hear. Also, it's the skankiest. And the sweatiest. And the smelliest. But I learned the Thriller dance. It was thrilling. I had so much fun though. I can't understand Spratt though. He went as a newsie, but he has never seen Newsies. He says he made a solemn vow never to watch the movie until he is married. It's so that if a girl wants to watch it with him, she'll "have" to marry him. I dunno....but methinks the logic is screwed here.

Aren't I amazing? And aren't we amazing? No worries, I know it's an awful picture. My roomie took it at a terrible angle.



My vest was amazing. It cost me 3 bucks at the D.I. I already had the hat.

I hate to toot my own horn, but I am SO fun! Haha...

Splish Splash...

I had an adventure on Friday night. Well, I suppose you could call it Saturday morning. It all depends on your way of thinking. Fall break was this week...a nice lovely, three-day weekend. I love breaks. I just can't function without them. I was talking to Mikey online and I mentioned my break (that I love) and he was like, "Break? What?!?!" He goes to BYU. And now you know why I love my school. We have breaks. Which I love. With all my heart. We may go to school a week earlier and get out a week later, but it is SO worth it to have several three-day weekends and Spring Break. I love Spring Break.

Anyway, a couple days ago, I ran into a friend on campus that I hadn't hung out with in a while. I asked him what he was doing for the break--he said he didn't know, but he would call me if he did anything fun. I kind of forgot about it for the rest of the day. Friday night, I was completely alone. Three of my roommates had gone home, one was at her grandma's, and the other was holed up in the junior interior design studio, about to pull her third all-nighter in a row. You sure you want to do interior design, Mike? It's a beast!! I was very lonely and bored and it was midnight and I was about to go to bed when I got a call.

Ryan: Hey Chess! Want to go fishing?

Me: (Checks the time--12:05 am.) Right now??

Ryan: Yeah, right now!

Me: (Thinks for a split of a split-second.) Yeah! Just let me change!

Ryan: We'll be there in a couple minutes. Wear something warm!

Me: (tearing off her PJs to put normal clothes on.)

So it was my friends, Ryan and Craig, and another girl and guy that I hadn't met before, and me, and we all crammed into Craig's little Honda Accord and headed down to the little spot by the river where we all got out to fish. We'll call it my first time fishing because the first time I went was in the sixth grade where everyone abandoned me and I managed to tie myself up with fishing line. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I'm exaggerating a little. But not much. This time wasn't too bad. I didn't actually fish. I baited Ryan's hook with the worm, but there weren't enough fishing poles, so i just watched.

Craig: Man, this would be so sweet if we had a boat. We could go all over the place!

Ryan and Phil: Dude, I know! If only we had a boat!

Ryan and Phil: Crap! I got snagged. Let's go somewhere else.

Craig, Ryan, Phil: Dude, if only we had a boat.

Me: I get it. You want a boat. But let's go somewhere else.

(Everyone packs up the car. The boys see something glimmering on the bank nearby. They go to explore.)

Craig, Ryan, Phil: DUDE!!! NO FRICKIN' WAY!!!

Me: (Runs over excitedly.) What?!?

Ashley: What did you find??

Craig, Ryan, Phil: (Gesturing wildly.) WE FOUND A BOAT!!

Me: (Sees an overturned rowboat. Jaw drops.) Shut up! That's so cool!!

(Everyone piles back into the car and tears back to Ryan and Craig's apartment, where they grab rags to stuff the small round hole in the end of the boat, and old wooded crutches to use as paddles, and climb into Craig's truck, which will be used to haul the boat back to the apartment. Craig, Phil, and Ashley in the cab, Chessie and Ryan in the back.)

Everyone: (Gazes lovingly at the boat.) Wow!

(Boat is plugged, pushed into the water, and all five people climb in, Craig and Phil manning the crutches.)

Ashley: (Manning the camera.) Click. Flash. Click. Flash. Click. Flash.

Ryan and Me: (Singing loudly.) Row, row, row your boat...Gently down the stream!!!! Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily....LIFE IS BUT A DREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMMMM!!!

Me: You know you're gonna name it after me, right?

Craig: Yeah, I'll name it the Chessie.

(The crutches dig into the ground, prodding the boat to the bank, where we all get out, turn the boat over, and load it into the truck-bed. Five people sit in the cab. Actually, four people sit on the seat. Chessie sits on Ryan.)

Me, Ryan, Craig, Phil, and Ashley: (Every five minutes.) I canNOT beLIEVE we found a BOAT!!!

(Everyone runs into Craig and Ryan's apartment to jump on their sleeping roommate, Clay.)

Ryan and Craig: Dude, wake up! You gotta come see this!!!

Clay: (Rubs eyes sleepily.) Wha-at?

Ryan: Dude, it's like Christmas out there!!

Me and Ashley: (Laughing hysterically.)

(Everyone runs outside again. Clay's mouth is agape at the sight of the boat in Craig's truck.)

Clay: What the crap is that?!?!

Ryan, Craig, and Phil: We found a BOAT!!

Clay: That is so white trash. That is the coolest thing I have ever SEEN!

(High-fives all around. Everyone goes home. Chessie goes to sleep at four in the morning and wakes up with a horrible cold. But the runny nose, clogged sinuses, and cough are SO totally WORTH IT!!!)

Yup.

True story.

Nessie Nessie Bo Bessie....

Notice my nice new background? It's the closest I could get to some Scottish tartan. I'm going to Scotland. Did you know that? Kelli and I have been planning this bloody trip since Sigafus's eighth grade German class. Although I don't expect to ever live in a castle with a trampoline room and a sno-cone machine (I've grown up a little since then), I am darn well going to visit one....minus the trampoline room and the sno-cone machine. And have a fling with a Scottish hottie. And see Nessie. And try haggis. I'm scared but I'll do it just to say I have. It can't be worse than octopus and shark...right?? What is in haggis anyway? I'll have to look it up. I'm so excited to be a dorky tourist. I can't believe we're actually going. My goal is to meet an Alec Kincaid. Or an Ian. I have no idea who these people are. They're just cool names.

I went to Chili's with Kelli the other night. Yum. It's the second time I've ever gone. And after dinner I bought shoes for five dollars. They kill. But they are SO cute!

A box elder bug got in my hair today. I felt it hit my head with a little plop! I spazzed...again...and was clawing at my head trying to get it out and in the process I flung it against the wall...the bug...not my head. Just in case you were wondering. My head is intact. The bug, sadly--NOT!!--is not. I looked behind me to see it splattered against the wall. Talk about ewwww.... Why me? Why is it always me?

I played racquetball with a friend last night. I haven't played since 10th grade P.E. I can't even remember the P.E. teacher's name. He was bald. Gosh, what is his name?!?! I can remember who was in my class though. I played racquetball with Olivia, Angela, and Cathy. I remember us singing Josh Groban and Hilary Duff at the top of our lungs in the echoey-echoey court. Really classy. Hah.

Blurble...

I'm a bargain shopper. I love good deals on clothes, shoes, marshmallow popcorn, scotch tape, gum. The cheaper, the better. I feel compelled to buy anything that's under 5 bucks. Even if I don't like the thing that much. It's like something invisible grabs my fingers and I'm dragged over to the clearance racks against my will. Except it's not against my will. And then all of the little bargains call out to me...."Buy me!"...."I'm cheap!"...."You know you're going to buy me even though you're a dirt-poor college student with no money!"... I even got my iPod for free. Rebates are great. Everyone should take advantage of rebates.

Speaking of my iPod. It makes me hear things. Literally. Not just the music. I always have the earbuds in when I walk to work. I swear that whenever I have 'em in my ears, I always think that there is someone walking right behind me, crunching the leaves under his feet. I get so creeped out by the sound that I jump and turn around, but there's no one there. Then I realize that I am only hearing my own feet, but when my earphones are in, the sounds seem like they're behind me. It's like my feet are little ventriloquists throwing their sounds around to scare me. It's so awful! And then thinking about ventriloquists makes me think about ventriloquist dummies, which make me think about the Goosebumps book about the evil ventriloquist dummy that comes to life and haunts people. So sick. It gave me nightmares when I was little.

Other things that scare me are box elder bugs. I hate them. I hate them so much. I shudder when I see them and they invade the building where I have all my classes. It's sooooo disgusting. I was doing a Sudoku puzzle in the computer lab by the window during a break between classes and I fell asleep. I woke up to this eerie tickle on my neck, only to find a box elder bug crawling across my face. I jerked straight up, squeaked like I was on helium, dropped all my papers and books, threw my pen across the room, and flailed around trying to get it off me. I'm sure I looked charming.

I dozed off on my hand during Medieval Lit today. All of a sudden, I heard my teacher's voice, "Uh-oh, Chessie!" I woke up to find a stack of papers on my desk that I was supposed to pass on. Everyone around me laughed, which was embarrassing. But that doesn't compare to the humiliation of having my teacher catching me in the middle of an illegal nap. Gah!

Just once in my life, I would like a day where I don't do or say something stupid. A day where I don't trip. Or spill on myself. Or sneeze really ugly. Or breathe wrong so I cough so hard I'm practically convulsing. Or get the hiccups everytime I brush my teeth. Not pretty. Toothpaste everywhere.

I'm pathetic.

Phlebt...

I am a dork. There are many reasons for this, but I'd rather not discuss them here. I mean, what else is the point of a blog but to unload all of your unreasonable cares, but I would really just rather not. You can ask me about the latest reason if you'd like, and I'd be happy to tell you. Just not on here. Haha, it's nothing bad.....just slightly embarrassing. It's just dorky, that's all.

Anyway, this is me writing from my fancy new MacBook. Do I love it? Yes, I do. It's quite possibly the snazziest item I have ever owned, other than my really amazing pair of black heels. Oh, and the free iPod Nano that came with it ain't too bad either. I'm a fan.

Well, folks, I am back in Logan about to start the third week of school. Back in the same apartment as last year, with the same five roommates. Life is brilliant! Except for the part where I go to school at 7:30 in the morning, Monday through Thursday. The good part about is that I am done with classes every single day by 12:30. Tomorrow I have a job interview for the after-school mentoring program at the nearby elementary/jr. high schools. Since the hours for that job only go until about 5, I will have all of my nights and weekends free. How perfect is that? I'm pretty excited.

Monday/Wednesday/Friday:

7:30 am - Pilates (uh, quite possibly the most grueling workout of my entire life! I cannot even begin to describe the pain that my abs, arms, and inner thighs have suffered!)

8:30 am - Grammar (I enjoy it greatly! No really...I do...I'm not kidding!)

9:30 am - British Literary History II (I had Dr. McCuskey in the spring--the man is a genius, and soooo funny! Definitely my favorite class!)

11:30 am - Medieval Literature (Friday we read loads of medieval literatures--those monks had dirty minds!)

Tuesday/Thursday:

7:30 am - Food/Technology/Health (if I'm not mistaken, this is my last general...hallelujah! By the way, I hate it.)

10:30 am - Studies in Poetry (I am going to die here. That's all. I can't understand anything in class, let alone outside of it.)

So yeah, homework is not too bad right now, but it will soon become miserable. It's just one of those things that is a given in life. I can only hope that every now and then something exciting will happen that will lighten the dreariness. I'm also prematurely sad because one of my roommates will be taken from me next summer. Erica will be getting married. To her childhood friend who just got back from a mission. I can't believe she is ruining our roommate streak. What other group of six girls has stuck together as long as we have??? But I'm still happy for her....but so, so, so, so sorry for myself. I need to get over it. Stupid boys. 

And on that note...we'll just leave it here. I'm very boring right now and have absolutely nothing else to say.