Hibernation...

How brilliant is hibernation? 

How absolutely unfair is it that it skipped over the human species?

Shouldn't I be allowed to pretend that the dreary, depressing winter months don't exist?

Shouldn't I be able to eat everything I want until I essplode,

and then 

sleep. it. off.  

???

What could be more wonderful than eating my weight in food

and NOT having to go to the gym to work it off?

In fact, nature would discourage it.

If life were as it should be, Mother Nature would say,

"No, Chessie. Don't go to the gym. Eat all the chocolate muffins and pasta you want. And when you feel like you can't eat anymore, just curl up in your bed and go to sleep. When you wake up, the sun will be shining, it will be warm, and you will be skinny."

I'm convinced that when God evicted Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden, he said,

"See all those animals you named? THEY get to HIBERNATE. YOU get to SUFFER. 

Shouldn't've eaten that apple, huh? Bet you're sorry now."